I still own the house that we used to share,
I see your shadow, but you're never there
I've rearranged the furniture and yet,
The way that it was I can't seem to forget.
I've taken down all the pictures of us,
And still I remember and endlessly fuss.
I still feel your presence behind every wall,
As if you were hiding, like a child, from it all.
I still see you when day turns to dusk,
"Just my imaginings," I say in disgust.
Even after all the years in between,
You still are a part of all of my dreams.
Even though you haven't ever come home,
My heart it still races when I hear the phone.
I've re-painted each room, and still they remain,
A reminder as if they all whisper your name.
My roommates are still the dog and the cat,
Still confused, they wonder where you are at.
The neighbors have moved, life has moved on,
Except for my life, it hasn't moved since you've gone.
I still hold the same job, at still the same pay,
Nothing much has changed since you've been away.
I still only have my one friend from before,
I'm not into company very much anymore.
I'm not into living, or loving, or life,
Now that, my darling, I'm no longer your wife.
I've tried to start over but I don't have the will,
But I own every memory of our marriage still.
I still picture you pouting just like a child,
I still see your dimples and the way that you smiled.
I still hear your laughter, and your sweet melody,
I just can't understand why you ever left me.
They tell me I'm mourning and that I still grieve,
But I don't understand just why did you leave?
Why did the Lord take you ~ I needed you so
and, darling, I still find I can't let you go.
Minus you, sweetheart, I'm nothing I find
My heart's become barren and cold over time.
I have tried to forget you ~ I've tried to move on
But darling I can't... My purpose is gone.
Friends tell me that I'll find true love again
but for now I would settle for just one true friend.
Someone who knows what my life feels like now
Someone, I guess, who has "been there" somehow.
As another dawn rises ~ a new day is here
yet for me it just holds more pain and more fear
And that empty pit I now own where once was my heart
it's drowning in misery and breaking apart.
Widows and widowers all know how I feel
As though it's a dream and not truly real
Our legs keep on walking as we "soldier on"
But we're no longer living when our loved one has gone.....
Love and Light,
Donna Wallace
a.k.a Gentle-Daydreamer
